[ Morrigan may be fussy right now, but he calms down into the soothing fingertips that dig into his scalp. Kitty sleeps now—at least one kitty does. Akira rolls onto his back to look up at the ceiling, thinking back to when they decided to move in. He remembers when they scouted the rooms... Pulled in the leftover furniture that Tuuri stole from other parts of the house, and buying decor.
There were some middle of the night talks, some shenanigans here and there, and the sleepless nights in October. When did he really learn about Yusuke's underground job as a doujinka? He's quiet before pulling the blanket up closer to their necks. ]
I had a hunch during the first month, but it was around October. I recognized one of the pages and made the connection.
[ He may or may not have bought more of Yusuke's stuff after learning it was him. ]
[ He will be brave. He can survive this conversation, maybe. But he will remember Akira's tricks, and call Goro to perform CPR if Akira plays dead. We'll see how long that lasts then. ]
... I had thought I was being subtle enough to fool you as well. Apparently not.
It pays surprisingly well though. If you were ever considering a need for extra money.
[ Please don't do that or he'll actually have a heart attack. Akira is snickering a bit, merely picturing Yusuke's appalled expression. He can't see it with how dark it is in their room. ]
I think I'll leave the art to you.
[ Doodling is all he does, but most importantly: ]
I promised that I would tell you if... I remember something, right?
[ Stop being demeaning without intent, Yusuke? He chuckles nervously as his eyes dart elsewhere. Even if they can't see each other, he can feel his friend facing him. ]
So... My other self back then didn't have a great reputation. At school, his peers would avoid him because they thought he was a violent delinquent. For a while, I wasn't sure what he—I did wrong. The emotions I had were a mix of apathy and frustration... As if I was wronged.
[ His hands occupy themselves by holding onto Morrigan who continues to sleep, ears flickering when he feels someone's touch. ]
What got me there was unfair. I was protecting someone from getting harassed by a drunkard, then he fell on his own and I was charged for assault. It went on my permanent record... I got expelled—shipped to Tokyo on probation.
[ He's shifted so that he's a little more comfortable, and listens.
... and listens.
And once again, and he was when Akira told him the extent of what Madarame had done to that other him throughout his life, he's struck with just... how unfair these situations are. How younger, more vulnerable people have been at the mercy of those with more power than them when they should have been protected or helped by them instead. ]
...
Is this why we... they? took what they did in the Metaverse so seriously? When Madarame was dealt with, they spoke about a change of heart... the ability to make someone so powerful and untouchable crumble like that...
[ Akira knew what Madarame had done to that other him, and now Akira knows what happened to that other him as well. ]
Had all of us been trapped in situations we couldn't see an escape from like that...?
... Based on what I know about Ann and Ryuji, yeah. It seems like we were a group of misfits that wanted to help those like us—people who've had their lives stripped away from them. It's almost poetic.
[ They banded together for their own reasons—vengeance, justice, you name it, but they upheld their morals and continued their escapade. The justice they dealt, while controversial, was sound and founded on a strong conviction. Akira idly strokes Morrigan's ears as he lets out a small sigh, simmering in the memories and emotions that come with them. ]
At least we—they... Found a place where they all belonged.
[ That's the feeling he got with every memory he receives of the Phantom Thieves. It's this subtle and genuine feeling of comfort underneath adrenaline and whatever urgency. The other Akira felt like he had a place to come back to. ]
[ He's not going to pry into ... the others memories and reasons for joining. Although he does wonder if the other Yusuke had known them after he joined, or whether their reasons remained secret from him. ]
Yes. Perhaps it would've been better not to have suffered in the first place but... from what I see of these other versions of us, they seem happy and comfortable together. Good that comes from the bad, so to speak. Wishing that away seems cruel.
[ That feeling of comfort and something like family isn't new to him here where he has a real family still with him, and friendships that he cherishes in the same way. The him in his visions had... nothing before then. Just a farce of familial relationships where he was expendable, and knowing it deep down but smothering the fear of it. ]
And then we made the choice to help others where conventional methods could not. Or... they did.
[ Akira assumes they all just have a little pow-wow about it, to be honest. As a group, they must have bonded over something... They all seemed so close. He's glad that in that time and now that they're surrounded by friends, good people. ]
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
[ There's a soft laugh as he closes his eyes. It's a cold night, but the warmth of the bed and two other bodies are great substitutes for a heater. His own bed is above this one; not a far journey, but he can't muster the strength to leave. ]
Would you make the same choice again? As who you are now...
[ He's curious since he knows he would a thousand times over. ]
They do say that suffering makes us stronger, yes. Or it breaks us.
[ yusuke tilts his head back a little, looking at the bottom of akira's bed above them. He hopes that this group, the thieves as it were, were the former - those whose suffering makes them stronger and closer. ]
To defend others in situations similar to my own?
[ ... he wonders. ] We had a lot of opportunities that I don't think we'd have here. Like the palaces, and the anonymity as Persona users. But I would want to help people if I could. No one should feel trapped, or even unaware they are trapped, the way I now see I had been...
In the end, I don't think having those powers or our other identities change our desire to make a difference... If we can't make the same decision without the mask, are we even worthy?
[ Stealing hearts, intervening in conflict, standing up for others—Philosophical questions that don't really matter now, especially when Yusuke shares the same view as him. While he has never felt trapped in this life, others have...
He's quiet for some time, edging to five minutes of silence. Most people would assume he's fallen asleep, but: ]
You know what would be good in this kind of weather?
[ There are more ways to help people than metaphorically stealing hearts and targeting those who abuse powers ... it's true. If he can help, he'd always want to, he thinks. ]
... As long as we still want to help people, that's a good sign. That we're "worthy" if you will.
[ The following silence is thoughtful but not uncomfortable, he thinks. He can feel that familiar heaviness through his eyelids, dragging them slowly and peacefully downwards.
...
Until he silence is broken again. ]
Hm? ... ... ... I have no idea, what would be good in this kind of weather?
[ Yes, they are worthy of the power gifted to them. Whether it's by sheer luck or a true blessing from the gods, Akira is grateful... Especially with August and October in mind, his thoughts slowly drift to a darker place, but he's prepared for the next obstacle whatever it is. He puts it to rest as he settles into this lighter topic.
Though his eyes are closed and he's ready for bed, he sounds rather cheerful in the dark. ]
[ Akira understands wholeheartedly. The more they talk about hotpot, the more he wants it. MmmMMmMmmmMMmm. Especially when Yusuke mentions udon noodles. That would be amazing if they can also add kobe beef. It is New Years soon. ]
I am getting another check after Christmas, so I'm sure we can afford it.
[ They should make porridge. Porridge is vital. Noodles, delicious meats, vegetables.... this sounds like the best idea that has ever been conceived by any person ever. FOOD.
Although maybe calm down, Akira. They're students and that is kobe beef. ]
If we all club together I'm sure we can afford such a luxury.
[ Actually, they SHOULDN'T do that again. Absolutely not. They were a horrible group with one single babysitter. Bless their heart. Also, with their money combine, they can probably have one single platter of kobe beef.
Let them dream big. Morrigan also shushes up when he notices his son is sleepy. Yes. In Morrigan's mind, he has adopted Akira. ]
[ See, now he's focused on the food. He will dream of kobe beef and delicious hot pot treats and wake up nourished. Because that's how eating and nourishment works, obviously.
Morrigan... you're in for a surprise. The son in this family is not who you think... ]
I said I would, and am happy to. That is what friends do.
[ You can't tell Morrigan what to think? Cats are independent and fickle creatures. He will do as he please, think as he will. Akira's own happy thoughts about food dies down as it's brought up. ]
... To be honest, this was hard and I was nervous, but I'm glad now.
[ Sometimes he wonders how he would have reacted a year ago, if he would even feel anything. Now he only feels the warmth from the bed, the shaking of his own nerves, and the pleasant feeling of not being alone. There are people he can depend on whether he's hurt, tired, or running into trouble at every corner. ]
This definitely tired me out more than fighting any Shadow.
... I am happy you don't regret it. And that I was able to help you out in some way.
[ Sharing such things with someone... has been a limited experience for him as well. Sharing things with Haru is easier than breathing, but to find himself being the comforting shoulder for someone else is ... nice. To know he's helping, and to feel like he's supporting someone. ]
Or awakening to a Persona. I remember being exhausted after that...
[ Sharing wasn't something Yusuke had a say in, technically, but he's glad that his friend has been understanding and considerate. He chuckles nervously as the last bit is thrown in.
He's right—but that exhaustion was... Comforting. ]
Speaking of exhausted, we should hit the hay. I've kept you up long enough and I don't think Morrigan is happy about it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fabrefactions) wrote2017-08-26 12:53 pm
no subject
There were some middle of the night talks, some shenanigans here and there, and the sleepless nights in October. When did he really learn about Yusuke's underground job as a doujinka? He's quiet before pulling the blanket up closer to their necks. ]
I had a hunch during the first month, but it was around October. I recognized one of the pages and made the connection.
[ He may or may not have bought more of Yusuke's stuff after learning it was him. ]
no subject
I thought I was hiding it pretty well, considering I have a roommate. It was not something I wanted people to know.
[ please don't tell him that he might implode in embarrassment. ]
no subject
You were hiding it well. I don't think anyone else in the house knows, but I do sleep in the same room as you.
[ You're sneaky, but not sneaky enough. ]
I won't tell anyone.
no subject
... I had thought I was being subtle enough to fool you as well. Apparently not.
It pays surprisingly well though. If you were ever considering a need for extra money.
no subject
I think I'll leave the art to you.
[ Doodling is all he does, but most importantly: ]
I promised that I would tell you if... I remember something, right?
no subject
... yes, I remember extracting that promise from you.
[ It's a motion that can't be seen in the lack of light, but he turns his head to look roughly where he thinks Akira's face is. ]
Do you have something you want to discuss?
no subject
[ Stop being demeaning without intent, Yusuke? He chuckles nervously as his eyes dart elsewhere. Even if they can't see each other, he can feel his friend facing him. ]
So... My other self back then didn't have a great reputation. At school, his peers would avoid him because they thought he was a violent delinquent. For a while, I wasn't sure what he—I did wrong. The emotions I had were a mix of apathy and frustration... As if I was wronged.
[ His hands occupy themselves by holding onto Morrigan who continues to sleep, ears flickering when he feels someone's touch. ]
What got me there was unfair. I was protecting someone from getting harassed by a drunkard, then he fell on his own and I was charged for assault. It went on my permanent record... I got expelled—shipped to Tokyo on probation.
no subject
... and listens.
And once again, and he was when Akira told him the extent of what Madarame had done to that other him throughout his life, he's struck with just... how unfair these situations are. How younger, more vulnerable people have been at the mercy of those with more power than them when they should have been protected or helped by them instead. ]
...
Is this why we... they? took what they did in the Metaverse so seriously? When Madarame was dealt with, they spoke about a change of heart... the ability to make someone so powerful and untouchable crumble like that...
[ Akira knew what Madarame had done to that other him, and now Akira knows what happened to that other him as well. ]
Had all of us been trapped in situations we couldn't see an escape from like that...?
no subject
[ They banded together for their own reasons—vengeance, justice, you name it, but they upheld their morals and continued their escapade. The justice they dealt, while controversial, was sound and founded on a strong conviction. Akira idly strokes Morrigan's ears as he lets out a small sigh, simmering in the memories and emotions that come with them. ]
At least we—they... Found a place where they all belonged.
[ That's the feeling he got with every memory he receives of the Phantom Thieves. It's this subtle and genuine feeling of comfort underneath adrenaline and whatever urgency. The other Akira felt like he had a place to come back to. ]
no subject
Yes. Perhaps it would've been better not to have suffered in the first place but... from what I see of these other versions of us, they seem happy and comfortable together. Good that comes from the bad, so to speak. Wishing that away seems cruel.
[ That feeling of comfort and something like family isn't new to him here where he has a real family still with him, and friendships that he cherishes in the same way. The him in his visions had... nothing before then. Just a farce of familial relationships where he was expendable, and knowing it deep down but smothering the fear of it. ]
And then we made the choice to help others where conventional methods could not. Or... they did.
no subject
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
[ There's a soft laugh as he closes his eyes. It's a cold night, but the warmth of the bed and two other bodies are great substitutes for a heater. His own bed is above this one; not a far journey, but he can't muster the strength to leave. ]
Would you make the same choice again? As who you are now...
[ He's curious since he knows he would a thousand times over. ]
no subject
[ yusuke tilts his head back a little, looking at the bottom of akira's bed above them. He hopes that this group, the thieves as it were, were the former - those whose suffering makes them stronger and closer. ]
To defend others in situations similar to my own?
[ ... he wonders. ] We had a lot of opportunities that I don't think we'd have here. Like the palaces, and the anonymity as Persona users. But I would want to help people if I could. No one should feel trapped, or even unaware they are trapped, the way I now see I had been...
no subject
[ Stealing hearts, intervening in conflict, standing up for others—Philosophical questions that don't really matter now, especially when Yusuke shares the same view as him. While he has never felt trapped in this life, others have...
He's quiet for some time, edging to five minutes of silence. Most people would assume he's fallen asleep, but: ]
You know what would be good in this kind of weather?
no subject
... As long as we still want to help people, that's a good sign. That we're "worthy" if you will.
[ The following silence is thoughtful but not uncomfortable, he thinks. He can feel that familiar heaviness through his eyelids, dragging them slowly and peacefully downwards.
...
Until he silence is broken again. ]
Hm? ... ... ... I have no idea, what would be good in this kind of weather?
no subject
Though his eyes are closed and he's ready for bed, he sounds rather cheerful in the dark. ]
Hotpot.
[ Easy. ]
no subject
[ I mean.
You had him at food, to be honest. ]
Hotpot sounds nice.
When?
no subject
Sometime in January? We can divide groceries between the five of us.
[ Morrigan is awake now... He pokes his head out of the sheets and starts meowing while pawing Akira's face. GO TO SLEEP. ]
no subject
That sounds fair.
...
With udon, yes?
[ Morrigan, shhh. They're talking about food. ]
no subject
I am getting another check after Christmas, so I'm sure we can afford it.
[ MEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWW. ]
no subject
Although maybe calm down, Akira. They're students and that is kobe beef. ]
If we all club together I'm sure we can afford such a luxury.
[ Morrigan.... pls.... shhh.... ]
no subject
[ Actually, they SHOULDN'T do that again. Absolutely not. They were a horrible group with one single babysitter. Bless their heart. Also, with their money combine, they can probably have one single platter of kobe beef.
Let them dream big. Morrigan also shushes up when he notices his son is sleepy. Yes. In Morrigan's mind, he has adopted Akira. ]
Thanks for hearing me out, Yusuke.
no subject
Morrigan... you're in for a surprise. The son in this family is not who you think... ]
I said I would, and am happy to. That is what friends do.
... Were you comfortable discussing it with me?
no subject
... To be honest, this was hard and I was nervous, but I'm glad now.
[ Sometimes he wonders how he would have reacted a year ago, if he would even feel anything. Now he only feels the warmth from the bed, the shaking of his own nerves, and the pleasant feeling of not being alone. There are people he can depend on whether he's hurt, tired, or running into trouble at every corner. ]
This definitely tired me out more than fighting any Shadow.
no subject
I see.
... I am happy you don't regret it. And that I was able to help you out in some way.
[ Sharing such things with someone... has been a limited experience for him as well. Sharing things with Haru is easier than breathing, but to find himself being the comforting shoulder for someone else is ... nice. To know he's helping, and to feel like he's supporting someone. ]
Or awakening to a Persona. I remember being exhausted after that...
no subject
He's right—but that exhaustion was... Comforting. ]
Speaking of exhausted, we should hit the hay. I've kept you up long enough and I don't think Morrigan is happy about it.
(no subject)