[ Okay. Okay, heck. Yusuke just kinda leans back a little, into the back of the sofa, but doesnāt release his grip on Sanjiās hand, like heās even more concerned he might bolt now. First thing is first: ]
No, Iām not interested in breaking up because the flora of Magatus got incredibly good at mental manipulation since we were last there.
[ He turns his head to pin Sanji with a look - thereās a lot of exasperation there, and some anger, but something undeniably fond as well. ]
If I did not think you were worth my time, I would not have given you over six weeks of it freely. [ And thatās one thing that couldnāt be a lie even if he tried: if heād ever got tired or fed up with Sanji, he would have told him immediately. Honesty and all that. ]
And that's the problem here, isn't it? Sanji knows himself and can see the symptoms: that he's never gonna get anywhere if he keeps insisting he's dirt his partners have to scrape off the floor. They'll get tired of it, rightfully, so, and eventually just leave hi--
... Tch.
He is such a piece of work.]
... So you're happy? [He asks that question instead, fingers flexing against Yusuke's as a question.]
[ He squeezes his hand ā lightly, and just once. But hopefully itās significant. ]
For clarification, I donāt expect to be completely happy all of the time. Expecting that out of any relationship - romantic or platonic -seems incredibly naĆÆve. But overall? Yes, very much so.
[ ... and hereās the important part: ]
Personally, I think that you are too criticial of yourself, and too quick to assume the worst of both yourself and the situation at hand. [ Heād brought this up when theyād discussed dating in the first place ā Sanji had been so certain it would just implode on itself before even giving himself, and more frustratingly Yusuke, a chance to see how things would work out otherwise. In assuming the worst in himself, to an extent heās assuming the worst of others as well. That they wonāt be willing to confront him about his bullshit, or work with and around it. Thereās a limit to everyoneās tolerance, certainly, but that tolerance is rarely going to start at zero. ]
[A breath of a laugh, nearly silent. He tilts his head so he has a better look at their joined hands, squeezing back.]
Would you believe I don't hear that much?
[Besides Baren, who only on the barest of occasions will remind Sanji to pull his head out of his ass, the man doesn't get close enough to anyone for that kind of honesty. A disaster of his own making and he knows it.]
I'm used to shit exploding around me. [It feels like something he's mentioned before, but maybe never quite like this: weatherworn and downtrodden.]
Don't get me wrong, I know it's no excuse. [But it's why he... always left in the past. He has no excuses to offer, no words of comfort, just an explosion of brimstone. It'd always seemed kinder to run away.]
[ Itās not accusatory, just spoken like a true fact. Heās not pulling away from Sanji - quite the opposite really. Heās still got a hold of his hand. ]
It isnāt as simple as me telling you this, but to me making that assumption every time something goes wrong sounds like you think the worst of yourself, and little of the people around you regarding their ability to weather whatever happens.
[ Big words from someone in their first relationship, but heās seen other relationships around him and knows enough to be aware theyāre not meant to be all good all the time. Itās a lot of work. ]
Kinda hard to answer when there's nothing untrue in those statements.
It's that second part that actually cuts, however, and tightens his shoulders into knots. When you get accustomed to your own weaknesses, that's one thing, but he supposes somewhere down the line he didn't see how terribly that affected his opinion of everyone else.
-- Can't say he gives a shit, either. He doesn't trust people to weather him correctly.
Shit, but applying that same nasty logic to anyone he cares about, to Yusuke...]
Eh. You do better than most people I know at putting up with my shit.
[ Itās not like they can pretend Yusuke didnāt drag Sanji into the idea of even giving him the chance to try a date kicking and screaming. If he wasnāt decent at smashing through Sanjiās bullshit they probably wouldnāt be sat here now. Or would be taking much longer getting here. ]
Thatās... good to know. [ And it is. Heās just... treating this how he thinks he should, and hearing itās working is a relief. ]
But it isnāt āputting up withā. [ Thereās the difference. Sanji sees it as Yusuke putting up with a part of him, whereas to Yusuke itās just... part and parcel of Sanji. Heās cutting and heās blunt and doesnāt suffer fools lightly, but neither does Yusuke and that bluntness is easier for him to navigate than veiled words and subtle misdirection. ] No one is making me spend time with you. I can keep repeating it like a broken record until it sinks in.
[It's the kind of offhanded comment Sanji didn't realize needed fixing until Yusuke corrects it. Shouldn't be a surprise at this stage, but hell, he can't help but be baffled by how ingrained this shit is. His head bows as if chastised]
No... you don't have to keep saying it. [Lord, he hopes that he's not so much of a mess as to need constant reassurance. Running a hand through his hair, he tries to work the frustration out of himself, one of his legs giving into nervous tapping]
... For the shitty record, I don't wanna... [Raking a hand through his hair again] Uh, end things here.
[Because he's... happy? Content? Something close to it. And he realizes maybe he hasn't made that part clear, that he offers Yusuke the opportunity to leave because it's what he expects... not because he wants it.]
[ If the reasoning behind had been for something more serious, like he was unhappy, or didn't want to continue, Yusuke would listen. But not for... well. "A tree told me to", as the reason. Or perhaps rather, "a tree amplified my insecurities and now I'm going to fall prey to them without a fight" might be more accurate.
He shifts his leg, bumping it against Sanji's. ]
Are we more on the same page now?
[ He's carefully trying to coax Sanji's hand over so he can check his wrist again. Maybe with that it might have... calmed down a little? It didn't seem like this one conversation was going to chip away at everything Magatus had dragged out into the open, but if it's helped, maybe there will have been a change... ]
[Same page? Well, Sanji has come to the conclusion he's a fool and Yusuke is a saint for dealing with his stupidity, but doesn't hurt to have that re-established.
Hell, it's... kinda relieving.
So there's no fight in him when Yusuke pulls his hand, twists it around to see the underside of Sanji's wrist. It's as the other predicted -- the mark hasn't just calmed, it's actively fading, like a scar set on fast forward, losing its color and disappearing into Sanji's skin tone.]
It's a relief to see it vanishing, that's for sure. No one wants one of the first things their boyfriend says to them after being away is that they got a magical mark that was going to kill them. He tugs Sanji's hand up a little, and leans down to press his lips to the space where the mark is almost dissolving away on his skin. ]
Take a look for yourself. [ He taps the clear skin with his finger, before leaning against Sanji's side - a little like someone just deflated him. It had been a necessary conversation, but a tiring one regardless. ]
[Cracking open one eye, Sanji watches Yusuke inspect the area, can tell from his boyfriend's expression that either the mark has lessened or disappeared entirely. His lips quirk to the side when he feels a kiss against his wrist.]
Yeah? [Holding himself firm so that Yusuke can relax against him. It's the least he can do.] Guess I didn't completely mess it up.
[Doesn't feel like a complete victory to him. Though his fever is starting to recede, he's tired and worn thin. Mark his words, he's allergic to honesty. He refuses to do this shit again for at least six months.]
... Hey.
[Even still, he leans over, brushing his lips against Yusuke's temple in quiet affection.]
[ Good luck with that, Sanji. Honesty is going to have factor into this at some point. ]
You're welcome.
[ He's comfortable now - semi-snuggled up and enjoying the warmth of being this close. His tiredness isn't going to be as bone deep, but he does feel a little like someone put him through a mangle. ]
No more cursed tattoos, if you don't mind though. Just a request.
[Rude, that means Sanji's gotta be the one to rearrange them on couch, tugging Yusuke along so there's a blanket over both of them and they're reclined on the cushions. Grumbling, he wraps an arm around his boyfriend and promptly flops his face into his shoulder]
Fine, no more cursed tattoos tryin' to kill me.
[As for that last statement? He offers nothing but a tired grunt, par for the course with this asshole, only softening the moment by squeezing the hand still captured in his]
Oh, there they go. Yes, this is much better. Yusuke wriggles himself slightly into a better position, one where he can hook his own arm around Sanji and nuzzle himself cosily against him.
[ Guys... He wanted to get some water and enjoy some games in the living room, but y'all are having a Moment. Yes. That means he has been standing by the corner, waiting for them to be done, for the last five minutes. No, he never meant to eavesdrop because he has been trying to get Yusuke's attention in that time period, too. ]
[ As much as he wants to say that Yusuke would be worried and maybe send Sanji to hell himself, he keeps that to himself. He remembers he shares a room with fox friend and Yusuke should remember that, too. Don't think he'll forget this slight. ]
I'm just here for my Switch. [ Which he's going to zoom through the room to get and shuffle quickly out of the way after he looks at Sanji one more time.
Then back to Yusuke. He goes ahead and adds in Japanese so Sanji won't understand: ]
ćYou know how to pick them, but he has a good head on his shoulders. Have fun.ć
[ Stares at Sanji again... Then finally leaves after he tosses the cushion back at them since that should stay in the living room. ]
[What is this, why is Akira giving him The Stare? He is a good man who has never done a damn thing wrong in his entire life, don't bring this shit to him.
Fuck it, Sanji gets to staring right back, only to start stuttering in irritated French when Akira very clearly using his own tactics against him.
... That pillow also hits him square in the face.]
[ Yusuke doesn't really have much to say in direct response to that - he's tired, and he doesn't need to be told that he made a good life choice here. Still, it's appreciated anyway, and he does turn his head to give Akira a look. One that's in agreement with the things Akira has just said. ]
...
[ Oh, and there Sanji goes. It's very hard not to laugh at the pillow-to-the-face, but he does turn his attention back to Sanji rather than his retreating roommate. ]
He was being complimentary. [ In his own Akira way. After a second, Yusuke squeezes Sanji's hand. ] No need to yell.
[Damn right he's pouting, he is crabby and the embodiment of a hissing feline. When will the universe allow him to sleep already?
... That set aside, he huffs a sigh while obeying Yusuke's order, voice already lowering back to normal levels -- in part because he's too tired to keep up the annoyance, but also because he still has to answer the other's question from before.]
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No--! No, we shouldn't-- I mean, unless you really wanted to, I don't wanna tie you down or--
[Holy shit he needs to stop talking immediately.]
I'm providing context, that's all! Damn trees are really good at selling their bullshit.
[Please don't kill him]
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No, Iām not interested in breaking up because the flora of Magatus got incredibly good at mental manipulation since we were last there.
[ He turns his head to pin Sanji with a look - thereās a lot of exasperation there, and some anger, but something undeniably fond as well. ]
If I did not think you were worth my time, I would not have given you over six weeks of it freely. [ And thatās one thing that couldnāt be a lie even if he tried: if heād ever got tired or fed up with Sanji, he would have told him immediately. Honesty and all that. ]
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And that's the problem here, isn't it? Sanji knows himself and can see the symptoms: that he's never gonna get anywhere if he keeps insisting he's dirt his partners have to scrape off the floor. They'll get tired of it, rightfully, so, and eventually just leave hi--
... Tch.
He is such a piece of work.]
... So you're happy? [He asks that question instead, fingers flexing against Yusuke's as a question.]
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[ He squeezes his hand ā lightly, and just once. But hopefully itās significant. ]
For clarification, I donāt expect to be completely happy all of the time. Expecting that out of any relationship - romantic or platonic -seems incredibly naĆÆve. But overall? Yes, very much so.
[ ... and hereās the important part: ]
Personally, I think that you are too criticial of yourself, and too quick to assume the worst of both yourself and the situation at hand. [ Heād brought this up when theyād discussed dating in the first place ā Sanji had been so certain it would just implode on itself before even giving himself, and more frustratingly Yusuke, a chance to see how things would work out otherwise. In assuming the worst in himself, to an extent heās assuming the worst of others as well. That they wonāt be willing to confront him about his bullshit, or work with and around it. Thereās a limit to everyoneās tolerance, certainly, but that tolerance is rarely going to start at zero. ]
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Would you believe I don't hear that much?
[Besides Baren, who only on the barest of occasions will remind Sanji to pull his head out of his ass, the man doesn't get close enough to anyone for that kind of honesty. A disaster of his own making and he knows it.]
I'm used to shit exploding around me. [It feels like something he's mentioned before, but maybe never quite like this: weatherworn and downtrodden.]
Don't get me wrong, I know it's no excuse. [But it's why he... always left in the past. He has no excuses to offer, no words of comfort, just an explosion of brimstone. It'd always seemed kinder to run away.]
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[ Itās not accusatory, just spoken like a true fact. Heās not pulling away from Sanji - quite the opposite really. Heās still got a hold of his hand. ]
It isnāt as simple as me telling you this, but to me making that assumption every time something goes wrong sounds like you think the worst of yourself, and little of the people around you regarding their ability to weather whatever happens.
[ Big words from someone in their first relationship, but heās seen other relationships around him and knows enough to be aware theyāre not meant to be all good all the time. Itās a lot of work. ]
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Kinda hard to answer when there's nothing untrue in those statements.
It's that second part that actually cuts, however, and tightens his shoulders into knots. When you get accustomed to your own weaknesses, that's one thing, but he supposes somewhere down the line he didn't see how terribly that affected his opinion of everyone else.
-- Can't say he gives a shit, either. He doesn't trust people to weather him correctly.
Shit, but applying that same nasty logic to anyone he cares about, to Yusuke...]
Eh. You do better than most people I know at putting up with my shit.
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Thatās... good to know. [ And it is. Heās just... treating this how he thinks he should, and hearing itās working is a relief. ]
But it isnāt āputting up withā. [ Thereās the difference. Sanji sees it as Yusuke putting up with a part of him, whereas to Yusuke itās just... part and parcel of Sanji. Heās cutting and heās blunt and doesnāt suffer fools lightly, but neither does Yusuke and that bluntness is easier for him to navigate than veiled words and subtle misdirection. ] No one is making me spend time with you. I can keep repeating it like a broken record until it sinks in.
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No... you don't have to keep saying it. [Lord, he hopes that he's not so much of a mess as to need constant reassurance. Running a hand through his hair, he tries to work the frustration out of himself, one of his legs giving into nervous tapping]
... For the shitty record, I don't wanna... [Raking a hand through his hair again] Uh, end things here.
[Because he's... happy? Content? Something close to it. And he realizes maybe he hasn't made that part clear, that he offers Yusuke the opportunity to leave because it's what he expects... not because he wants it.]
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[ If the reasoning behind had been for something more serious, like he was unhappy, or didn't want to continue, Yusuke would listen. But not for... well. "A tree told me to", as the reason. Or perhaps rather, "a tree amplified my insecurities and now I'm going to fall prey to them without a fight" might be more accurate.
He shifts his leg, bumping it against Sanji's. ]
Are we more on the same page now?
[ He's carefully trying to coax Sanji's hand over so he can check his wrist again. Maybe with that it might have... calmed down a little? It didn't seem like this one conversation was going to chip away at everything Magatus had dragged out into the open, but if it's helped, maybe there will have been a change... ]
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Hell, it's... kinda relieving.
So there's no fight in him when Yusuke pulls his hand, twists it around to see the underside of Sanji's wrist. It's as the other predicted -- the mark hasn't just calmed, it's actively fading, like a scar set on fast forward, losing its color and disappearing into Sanji's skin tone.]
What's it look like?
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It's a relief to see it vanishing, that's for sure. No one wants one of the first things their boyfriend says to them after being away is that they got a magical mark that was going to kill them. He tugs Sanji's hand up a little, and leans down to press his lips to the space where the mark is almost dissolving away on his skin. ]
Take a look for yourself. [ He taps the clear skin with his finger, before leaning against Sanji's side - a little like someone just deflated him. It had been a necessary conversation, but a tiring one regardless. ]
It's looking much better.
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Yeah? [Holding himself firm so that Yusuke can relax against him. It's the least he can do.] Guess I didn't completely mess it up.
[Doesn't feel like a complete victory to him. Though his fever is starting to recede, he's tired and worn thin. Mark his words, he's allergic to honesty. He refuses to do this shit again for at least six months.]
... Hey.
[Even still, he leans over, brushing his lips against Yusuke's temple in quiet affection.]
Thanks.
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You're welcome.
[ He's comfortable now - semi-snuggled up and enjoying the warmth of being this close. His tiredness isn't going to be as bone deep, but he does feel a little like someone put him through a mangle. ]
No more cursed tattoos, if you don't mind though. Just a request.
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[He's too tired to move his head much, so sorry Yusuke, he's just gonna rest his head against yours.]
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[ Mm. They're going to fall asleep here, aren't they? He should at least tug a blanket over them so they're cosy but...
sure feels like effort. ]
But thank you. For talking about it. [ Even when he knows it's something Sanji hates. ]
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Fine, no more cursed tattoos tryin' to kill me.
[As for that last statement? He offers nothing but a tired grunt, par for the course with this asshole, only softening the moment by squeezing the hand still captured in his]
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[ Oh.
Oh, there they go. Yes, this is much better. Yusuke wriggles himself slightly into a better position, one where he can hook his own arm around Sanji and nuzzle himself cosily against him.
Perfect. ]
...
[ Wait. ]
You... weren't there alone, were you?
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Congratulations on living.
[ They have a guest room, by the way? ]
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Living room belongs to the Leggie Duo.
Also what the goddamn fuck, Sanji glares over the curve of Yusuke's shoulder]
I tried my shitty best, what can I say?
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It takes a little awkward twisting of his arm, but after a moment he manages to drag a pillow out from under the two of them and
lovingly fling it in Akira's direction. Then he just grumbles, and nuzzles back into Sanji's shoulder. Mmmnrgh. ]
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[ As much as he wants to say that Yusuke would be worried and maybe send Sanji to hell himself, he keeps that to himself. He remembers he shares a room with fox friend and Yusuke should remember that, too. Don't think he'll forget this slight. ]
I'm just here for my Switch. [ Which he's going to zoom through the room to get and shuffle quickly out of the way after he looks at Sanji one more time.
Then back to Yusuke. He goes ahead and adds in Japanese so Sanji won't understand: ]
ćYou know how to pick them, but he has a good head on his shoulders. Have fun.ć
[ Stares at Sanji again... Then finally leaves after he tosses the cushion back at them since that should stay in the living room. ]
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Fuck it, Sanji gets to staring right back, only to start stuttering in irritated French when Akira very clearly using his own tactics against him.
... That pillow also hits him square in the face.]
Si je n'Ʃtais pas si fatiguƩ, je te botterais le cul!!
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...
[ Oh, and there Sanji goes. It's very hard not to laugh at the pillow-to-the-face, but he does turn his attention back to Sanji rather than his retreating roommate. ]
He was being complimentary. [ In his own Akira way. After a second, Yusuke squeezes Sanji's hand. ] No need to yell.
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[Damn right he's pouting, he is crabby and the embodiment of a hissing feline. When will the universe allow him to sleep already?
... That set aside, he huffs a sigh while obeying Yusuke's order, voice already lowering back to normal levels -- in part because he's too tired to keep up the annoyance, but also because he still has to answer the other's question from before.]
And no, wasn't up there alone. [A pause.]
Baren was around.
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