[ The answer used to be to his grave. A part of him wants to withdraw into himself, very much like the dream he had of a cursed March. It only evoked the wrath and worry of his friends—he doesn’t want that yet he doesn’t respond to Yusuke’s frustrated and prying questions. They all hurt in different ways, instilling regret further into him. It reminds him of the lost chances he had with Ann, Haru, Ryuji, Makoto, and even Futaba who is still around, far too vivid despite not remembering most of their time in Recolle if not by dream.
Instead of taking a step back, he takes one forward and closes the distance in short strides. When he’s in front of Yusuke, a hand lifts, but hovers awkwardly, fingers flexing in anxiety and doubt. He bites his bottom lip, throws all caution out, and slowly slides his hands around his friend to give him the much needed hug he deserves. They’re just kids, burdened with darker memories than they should. ]
We went through a lot—there and here. Thank you for staying by my side through all of it, Yusuke.
[ He doesn’t know why he does when he keeps making the same mistakes, but voicing that will only earn him a scolding. Not that he would mind... Yusuke’s presence is the only grounding thing in this dream. Abruptly, he squeezes his friend a bit in the embrace. ]
I can tell you how much I’m working on myself, but you already know that... So how can I earn your forgiveness?
[ The hug is a surprise - but not an unwelcome one. It takes him a moment, like he's running on a slow auto-pilot, but he does return it. His own arms, long and slender but strong, wrapping around Ren and hugging him back just as tightly. ]
I think I owe you far more than you owe me, Ren. Back there, you saved his life and his future. That's not something so easily repaid.
[ But the stakes here, they don't feel as high. Not as instantly high, or overwhelmingly so at least. They're not being bombarded with all these things that are way above what teenagers should have to deal with - certainly not the betrayal of allies, or the wrath of a politician pointed directly at them. ]
... I think all I can ask of you is to keep going. Opening up slowly is better than not opening up at all.
[ He bites back another thank you—at this point, he just needs to thank his friend for being born. It's less of a hug and now just resting on top of another person. Ren leans in, using Yusuke's shoulder as a rather high pillow, and considers what he remembers. Akechi's betrayal was the biggest hurdle for him and Goro, but there are some smaller other events that would affect Yusuke, even if indirectly. ]
When we wake up, I have something else to tell you.
[ He was never hesitant before, but these dreams and other memories are conflicting with his train of thought and series of emotions. For some reason, underlying fear takes hold, so he hugs Yusuke tighter. ]
For now, we can enjoy the dream. Is that all right?
[ Two tired friends leaning on each other is a wonderful image, thank you Hei. Without really realising it, they're swaying slightly, like a little soothing rhythm. Yusuke doesn't especially want to move from this space - the heaviness and warmth of Akira here, reminding him of what's real and what is just memory.
Painful and sad memories. ]
I will hold you to that, Ren. And I will listen.
[ And then he laughs, a little tired and a little weak. But a laugh. ]
This dream of nothing but darkness? Certainly, if that's what you want.
[ Okay, the hugging is getting a little awkward for Ren, though Akira personally finds it comforting... They both do, actually, but it's definitely overstaying its welcome. Carefully, he peels himself off of his friend, a little sheepish, but still smiling as he rubs his neck.
[ Heck, he's still a little off kilter from everything that happened in the first place. But he lets Ren go with little fuss, before turning to look around the empty nothingness they're surrounded by.
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fabrefactions) wrote2017-08-26 12:53 pm
no subject
Instead of taking a step back, he takes one forward and closes the distance in short strides. When he’s in front of Yusuke, a hand lifts, but hovers awkwardly, fingers flexing in anxiety and doubt. He bites his bottom lip, throws all caution out, and slowly slides his hands around his friend to give him the much needed hug he deserves. They’re just kids, burdened with darker memories than they should. ]
We went through a lot—there and here. Thank you for staying by my side through all of it, Yusuke.
[ He doesn’t know why he does when he keeps making the same mistakes, but voicing that will only earn him a scolding. Not that he would mind... Yusuke’s presence is the only grounding thing in this dream. Abruptly, he squeezes his friend a bit in the embrace. ]
I can tell you how much I’m working on myself, but you already know that... So how can I earn your forgiveness?
no subject
I think I owe you far more than you owe me, Ren. Back there, you saved his life and his future. That's not something so easily repaid.
[ But the stakes here, they don't feel as high. Not as instantly high, or overwhelmingly so at least. They're not being bombarded with all these things that are way above what teenagers should have to deal with - certainly not the betrayal of allies, or the wrath of a politician pointed directly at them. ]
... I think all I can ask of you is to keep going. Opening up slowly is better than not opening up at all.
no subject
[ He bites back another thank you—at this point, he just needs to thank his friend for being born. It's less of a hug and now just resting on top of another person. Ren leans in, using Yusuke's shoulder as a rather high pillow, and considers what he remembers. Akechi's betrayal was the biggest hurdle for him and Goro, but there are some smaller other events that would affect Yusuke, even if indirectly. ]
When we wake up, I have something else to tell you.
[ He was never hesitant before, but these dreams and other memories are conflicting with his train of thought and series of emotions. For some reason, underlying fear takes hold, so he hugs Yusuke tighter. ]
For now, we can enjoy the dream. Is that all right?
no subject
Painful and sad memories. ]
I will hold you to that, Ren. And I will listen.
[ And then he laughs, a little tired and a little weak. But a laugh. ]
This dream of nothing but darkness? Certainly, if that's what you want.
no subject
[ Okay, the hugging is getting a little awkward for Ren, though Akira personally finds it comforting... They both do, actually, but it's definitely overstaying its welcome. Carefully, he peels himself off of his friend, a little sheepish, but still smiling as he rubs his neck.
He has to fill in this void now. ]
I've been to plenty of places, so just pick.
[ World is their oyster and everything. ]
no subject
I don't know where to go...?
[ Heck, he's still a little off kilter from everything that happened in the first place. But he lets Ren go with little fuss, before turning to look around the empty nothingness they're surrounded by.
Is this better or worse than before? ]
Somewhere in Recolle? The beach, maybe...