[ Ren doesn’t want to answer—no, Akira doesn’t want to. It’s a secret he has been holding in for a year for good reasons, nightmares of Shadows, gods, and battles now swathed over by this single memory. Sometimes, it’s siddicult to tell the difference between dream and reality, but Yusuke’s very presence and reactions ground him. ]
It’s just a dream.
[ Less to Yusuke and more to himself. Akechi pushes forward, saber digging into the katana as the sounds of sizzling metal shakes the air. The other Phantom Thieves help out, firing skills, bullets, or diving him with everything they got. It makes Akechi back up, struggling only a tad bit. The only indication of any exhaustion is the slouch in his shoulders and nothing more... His maniac laugh returns as he goes on a tirade about how he hates Joker—attic trash. Why did he have everything? It doesn’t matter. He will kill all of them.
The battle goes on, now with a twist. A new Persona, new apparel, and an entirely different Akechi. Rampage, a horrifying skill, takes the spotlight... But it isn’t enough for him to win against eight people. Suddenly, the dream slows, almost frozen in time as their opponent staggers back with a forlorn look on his face. It gives Ren time to look over to Yusuke, biting his tongue, but forces the words lodged in his throat out. Pushing his mask up, he wearily rubs his face. ]
I’m sorry.
[ For so many things... For hiding this for so long, for not relying on him more, for remembering this at all, for being the possible catalyst of this exact memory. He knows better than to apologize, but his heart needs some solace or reprieve.
As if they’re not there, the memory continues like a memory with the Phantom Thieves pitying him, but giving Akechi hard advice and even an opportunity to take Shido down with them. It’s in the background, slightly muffled like they’re no longer a part of it. ]
[ Yusuke wants to argue, immediately. The sizzling sounds and feeling of heat from Akechi's blade alone feel far too real for him to believe this is truly a dream, but the movement and noise around him, and the way the weight of any impact he makes - blade to blade - rattles through his arms speaks otherwise.
It isn't real. But it's too real to be a dream. Is this the form a memory takes when made whole, and physical?
As the memory continues, passing by like some sort of movie he's watching rather than something so deeply personal and something he - or rather the other him? - must have also experienced at some point, things slot into place more and more, and, well...
He understands. He doesn't agree, not really. But he gets it. He's shaken by what he sees, and he is not in love with the star of the show. In a way though, that makes it worse that he's only just finding this out now. How long has Ren known about this--? ]
I... [ How to even phrase this? He steps back a little, putting the other Phantom Thieves slightly between himself and Akechi - acting out their scene with no acknowledgement for the fact a couple of their ranks aren't paying as much attention anymore. ]
I wouldn't know how to bring it up either. [ ... ] I wish you had though. At some point. This -- [ everything ] -- isn't something to face alone.
[ It's been months since he received that memory. He has also been friends with Yusuke for months... So why did he never bring this specific memory up? There are so many reason and excuses that whirl in his mind—it's for Goro's sake. It's so that he can have a fresh start and the Phantom Thieves can get to know him before they're influenced by those memories. It's because it isn't his story to tell. As they can see in the memory, it surrounds Akechi and yet... Akechi's focus is on Akira and the life he has.
Ren's gaze is downcast, finding it hard to meet Yusuke's after all of this. He doesn't quite understand himself, either. There's a well of mixed emotions, some from the memory, some from another memory, and his own. He stays where he is, but his keen ears catch the sound distance made.
The scene continues to play, just as Yusuke expected, and it all leads to a cognitive copy coming out of nowhere to pick off the stragglers. Finally, the grand finale comes to a close with metal walls separating the team, gun shots fired, and Futaba saying she can't sense him anymore. The thieves one by one disappear into the darkness where finally it's only the two of them left. ]
You would have remembered eventually. [ Lifting his head, his eyes are glued onto the cold divider that stands before them. They used to stir such dreadful and ugly emotions in him, sometimes keeping him up at ungodly hours. After Mementos merging reality stopped waking him up at night, it's this memory. On the ball of his heel, he turns away from it, now looking at Yusuke with a soft yet regretful smile. ] I think Akira might have needed help back then, but... we're fine now. It's thanks to you and everyone who has supported us.
[ ... ]
I wish I could have told you myself so you wouldn't have needed to learn this from a stale nightmare.
[ Somehow, in spite of everything that had happened throughout the dream so far, the ending takes Yusuke by surprise. In books, and television shows, at this point the hero usually talks the anti-hero down. Perhaps they reach an accord. Maybe they take the hand that's offer to the and begin their long, and difficult road back to redemption.
They don't get shot out of view of those trying to help them, and die alone. Even if death is inevitable, there's more of a production to it. More of a sense of finality. Not just... everything being over.
He understands, why Ren didn't share this story. It's less his, more Akechi's. But still-- living with that knowledge... ]
Eventually, maybe. But when? Days, months, years after you remembered it? How long were you going to shoulder this one alone?
[ He exhales, a little sharply. When he closes his eyes he can still see the scenes imprinted on the back of his eyelids. ]
We went through a lot more than I had initially thought in this other life, didn't we? [ Rescuing him from his corrupt guardian. Makoto and her bike, and that burst of power. Futaba overcoming her demons. It had all seemed dark, and deep, but ultimately positive - rescuing people from themselves. Nothing that involved murder and murderers, and the cold sting of failure on a large scale like this. ]
[ The answer used to be to his grave. A part of him wants to withdraw into himself, very much like the dream he had of a cursed March. It only evoked the wrath and worry of his friends—he doesn’t want that yet he doesn’t respond to Yusuke’s frustrated and prying questions. They all hurt in different ways, instilling regret further into him. It reminds him of the lost chances he had with Ann, Haru, Ryuji, Makoto, and even Futaba who is still around, far too vivid despite not remembering most of their time in Recolle if not by dream.
Instead of taking a step back, he takes one forward and closes the distance in short strides. When he’s in front of Yusuke, a hand lifts, but hovers awkwardly, fingers flexing in anxiety and doubt. He bites his bottom lip, throws all caution out, and slowly slides his hands around his friend to give him the much needed hug he deserves. They’re just kids, burdened with darker memories than they should. ]
We went through a lot—there and here. Thank you for staying by my side through all of it, Yusuke.
[ He doesn’t know why he does when he keeps making the same mistakes, but voicing that will only earn him a scolding. Not that he would mind... Yusuke’s presence is the only grounding thing in this dream. Abruptly, he squeezes his friend a bit in the embrace. ]
I can tell you how much I’m working on myself, but you already know that... So how can I earn your forgiveness?
[ The hug is a surprise - but not an unwelcome one. It takes him a moment, like he's running on a slow auto-pilot, but he does return it. His own arms, long and slender but strong, wrapping around Ren and hugging him back just as tightly. ]
I think I owe you far more than you owe me, Ren. Back there, you saved his life and his future. That's not something so easily repaid.
[ But the stakes here, they don't feel as high. Not as instantly high, or overwhelmingly so at least. They're not being bombarded with all these things that are way above what teenagers should have to deal with - certainly not the betrayal of allies, or the wrath of a politician pointed directly at them. ]
... I think all I can ask of you is to keep going. Opening up slowly is better than not opening up at all.
[ He bites back another thank you—at this point, he just needs to thank his friend for being born. It's less of a hug and now just resting on top of another person. Ren leans in, using Yusuke's shoulder as a rather high pillow, and considers what he remembers. Akechi's betrayal was the biggest hurdle for him and Goro, but there are some smaller other events that would affect Yusuke, even if indirectly. ]
When we wake up, I have something else to tell you.
[ He was never hesitant before, but these dreams and other memories are conflicting with his train of thought and series of emotions. For some reason, underlying fear takes hold, so he hugs Yusuke tighter. ]
For now, we can enjoy the dream. Is that all right?
[ Two tired friends leaning on each other is a wonderful image, thank you Hei. Without really realising it, they're swaying slightly, like a little soothing rhythm. Yusuke doesn't especially want to move from this space - the heaviness and warmth of Akira here, reminding him of what's real and what is just memory.
Painful and sad memories. ]
I will hold you to that, Ren. And I will listen.
[ And then he laughs, a little tired and a little weak. But a laugh. ]
This dream of nothing but darkness? Certainly, if that's what you want.
[ Okay, the hugging is getting a little awkward for Ren, though Akira personally finds it comforting... They both do, actually, but it's definitely overstaying its welcome. Carefully, he peels himself off of his friend, a little sheepish, but still smiling as he rubs his neck.
[ Heck, he's still a little off kilter from everything that happened in the first place. But he lets Ren go with little fuss, before turning to look around the empty nothingness they're surrounded by.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fabrefactions) wrote2017-08-26 12:53 pm
no subject
It’s just a dream.
[ Less to Yusuke and more to himself. Akechi pushes forward, saber digging into the katana as the sounds of sizzling metal shakes the air. The other Phantom Thieves help out, firing skills, bullets, or diving him with everything they got. It makes Akechi back up, struggling only a tad bit. The only indication of any exhaustion is the slouch in his shoulders and nothing more... His maniac laugh returns as he goes on a tirade about how he hates Joker—attic trash. Why did he have everything? It doesn’t matter. He will kill all of them.
The battle goes on, now with a twist. A new Persona, new apparel, and an entirely different Akechi. Rampage, a horrifying skill, takes the spotlight... But it isn’t enough for him to win against eight people. Suddenly, the dream slows, almost frozen in time as their opponent staggers back with a forlorn look on his face. It gives Ren time to look over to Yusuke, biting his tongue, but forces the words lodged in his throat out. Pushing his mask up, he wearily rubs his face. ]
I’m sorry.
[ For so many things... For hiding this for so long, for not relying on him more, for remembering this at all, for being the possible catalyst of this exact memory. He knows better than to apologize, but his heart needs some solace or reprieve.
As if they’re not there, the memory continues like a memory with the Phantom Thieves pitying him, but giving Akechi hard advice and even an opportunity to take Shido down with them. It’s in the background, slightly muffled like they’re no longer a part of it. ]
no subject
It isn't real. But it's too real to be a dream. Is this the form a memory takes when made whole, and physical?
As the memory continues, passing by like some sort of movie he's watching rather than something so deeply personal and something he - or rather the other him? - must have also experienced at some point, things slot into place more and more, and, well...
He understands. He doesn't agree, not really. But he gets it. He's shaken by what he sees, and he is not in love with the star of the show. In a way though, that makes it worse that he's only just finding this out now. How long has Ren known about this--? ]
I... [ How to even phrase this? He steps back a little, putting the other Phantom Thieves slightly between himself and Akechi - acting out their scene with no acknowledgement for the fact a couple of their ranks aren't paying as much attention anymore. ]
I wouldn't know how to bring it up either. [ ... ] I wish you had though. At some point. This -- [ everything ] -- isn't something to face alone.
no subject
[ It's been months since he received that memory. He has also been friends with Yusuke for months... So why did he never bring this specific memory up? There are so many reason and excuses that whirl in his mind—it's for Goro's sake. It's so that he can have a fresh start and the Phantom Thieves can get to know him before they're influenced by those memories. It's because it isn't his story to tell. As they can see in the memory, it surrounds Akechi and yet... Akechi's focus is on Akira and the life he has.
Ren's gaze is downcast, finding it hard to meet Yusuke's after all of this. He doesn't quite understand himself, either. There's a well of mixed emotions, some from the memory, some from another memory, and his own. He stays where he is, but his keen ears catch the sound distance made.
The scene continues to play, just as Yusuke expected, and it all leads to a cognitive copy coming out of nowhere to pick off the stragglers. Finally, the grand finale comes to a close with metal walls separating the team, gun shots fired, and Futaba saying she can't sense him anymore. The thieves one by one disappear into the darkness where finally it's only the two of them left. ]
You would have remembered eventually. [ Lifting his head, his eyes are glued onto the cold divider that stands before them. They used to stir such dreadful and ugly emotions in him, sometimes keeping him up at ungodly hours. After Mementos merging reality stopped waking him up at night, it's this memory. On the ball of his heel, he turns away from it, now looking at Yusuke with a soft yet regretful smile. ] I think Akira might have needed help back then, but... we're fine now. It's thanks to you and everyone who has supported us.
[ ... ]
I wish I could have told you myself so you wouldn't have needed to learn this from a stale nightmare.
no subject
They don't get shot out of view of those trying to help them, and die alone. Even if death is inevitable, there's more of a production to it. More of a sense of finality. Not just... everything being over.
He understands, why Ren didn't share this story. It's less his, more Akechi's. But still-- living with that knowledge... ]
Eventually, maybe. But when? Days, months, years after you remembered it? How long were you going to shoulder this one alone?
[ He exhales, a little sharply. When he closes his eyes he can still see the scenes imprinted on the back of his eyelids. ]
We went through a lot more than I had initially thought in this other life, didn't we? [ Rescuing him from his corrupt guardian. Makoto and her bike, and that burst of power. Futaba overcoming her demons. It had all seemed dark, and deep, but ultimately positive - rescuing people from themselves. Nothing that involved murder and murderers, and the cold sting of failure on a large scale like this. ]
no subject
Instead of taking a step back, he takes one forward and closes the distance in short strides. When he’s in front of Yusuke, a hand lifts, but hovers awkwardly, fingers flexing in anxiety and doubt. He bites his bottom lip, throws all caution out, and slowly slides his hands around his friend to give him the much needed hug he deserves. They’re just kids, burdened with darker memories than they should. ]
We went through a lot—there and here. Thank you for staying by my side through all of it, Yusuke.
[ He doesn’t know why he does when he keeps making the same mistakes, but voicing that will only earn him a scolding. Not that he would mind... Yusuke’s presence is the only grounding thing in this dream. Abruptly, he squeezes his friend a bit in the embrace. ]
I can tell you how much I’m working on myself, but you already know that... So how can I earn your forgiveness?
no subject
I think I owe you far more than you owe me, Ren. Back there, you saved his life and his future. That's not something so easily repaid.
[ But the stakes here, they don't feel as high. Not as instantly high, or overwhelmingly so at least. They're not being bombarded with all these things that are way above what teenagers should have to deal with - certainly not the betrayal of allies, or the wrath of a politician pointed directly at them. ]
... I think all I can ask of you is to keep going. Opening up slowly is better than not opening up at all.
no subject
[ He bites back another thank you—at this point, he just needs to thank his friend for being born. It's less of a hug and now just resting on top of another person. Ren leans in, using Yusuke's shoulder as a rather high pillow, and considers what he remembers. Akechi's betrayal was the biggest hurdle for him and Goro, but there are some smaller other events that would affect Yusuke, even if indirectly. ]
When we wake up, I have something else to tell you.
[ He was never hesitant before, but these dreams and other memories are conflicting with his train of thought and series of emotions. For some reason, underlying fear takes hold, so he hugs Yusuke tighter. ]
For now, we can enjoy the dream. Is that all right?
no subject
Painful and sad memories. ]
I will hold you to that, Ren. And I will listen.
[ And then he laughs, a little tired and a little weak. But a laugh. ]
This dream of nothing but darkness? Certainly, if that's what you want.
no subject
[ Okay, the hugging is getting a little awkward for Ren, though Akira personally finds it comforting... They both do, actually, but it's definitely overstaying its welcome. Carefully, he peels himself off of his friend, a little sheepish, but still smiling as he rubs his neck.
He has to fill in this void now. ]
I've been to plenty of places, so just pick.
[ World is their oyster and everything. ]
no subject
I don't know where to go...?
[ Heck, he's still a little off kilter from everything that happened in the first place. But he lets Ren go with little fuss, before turning to look around the empty nothingness they're surrounded by.
Is this better or worse than before? ]
Somewhere in Recolle? The beach, maybe...