You're having a good day, aren't you? Visiting Sanji like normal, and you can even let yourself into the apartment since Sanji's given you a key to the place.
There seems to be an occupant on the couch that Chou is batting at thoughtfully, meowing pitifully when it doesn't respond to her.]
[ He's been having a great day, thank you. And he is absolutely letting himself into Sanji's apartment because knocking and waiting is for losers now.
He's about to go over and make a fuss of Chou and hopefully get her to stop mewling sadly at... the sofa? Whatever it is that has her upset and grumpy. But then she stops and... well. makes this face at him. ]
... Is something the matter?
[ Clearly the only thing to do is pick up kitten and snuggle -- and that's exactly what he's going to do, even managing to get Chou in his arms before he finally sees exactly what it was she was trying to hard to get a reaction from. ]
[Sanji heard that all the way in the kitchen, yikes??? A beat later and he sticks his head into the living room, eyes wide until he
sees what's going on here]
Aw, damn. Chou showed you first?
[It does not help his case that Sanji doesn't look surprised, or guilty, or upset in any way, just casually taking in Yusuke's shock like this is the most mundane thing in the world.]
[ Chou is wriggling slightly. Yusuke is kinda holding her harder than he means too. Probably because he looks somewhere between scandalised and ticked off. ]
[ No, this is his cat now. His security blanket from the horrors in front of him. In retaliation for the squeezes, Chou smacks a paw into Yusuke's cheek. Rude. ]
So... out of nowhere some random person just happened to drop by with the one thing you've been needling me about for months?
[ ... It's not even that he doesn't believe Sanji when he says he had nothing to do with the fact this pillow exists in real life now. He does actually believe that. But... ]
[ Sanji you're lucky you're cute or the living room would be totally iced by now. Stupid body pillow and all. ]
Whether it's well made or not isn't the point?! [ IT'S KINDA CREEPY SOME RANDOM PERSON HAS MADE A SEXY BODY PILLOW OF HIM THAT NO ONE COMMISSIONED, OK. ] It shouldn't even exist!
... I don't think I've mentioned it much either. Probably offhand at home? [ Chou bats his face again. Hooman, be calm. ]
-- Okay, the only hard and fast rule right now is you can't kill my cat in your hysteria.
[Please stop squishing poor Chou.]
Alright, let's assume that whoever heard of this and decided to... intervene, likely came from your end.
[To be fair, could've been Baren, but it's almost too sneaky. Baren is much like Sanji in that way -- lives for the reactions. So even if it's inaccurate, the chef-in-training is crossing his friend off his list of suspects]
Any of your housemates seem the type to try this shit?
[Noooo clue who that is. Sanji's only met the twin, and it's been long enough since he's thought of Yu that the connection doesn't make itself apparent]
Hn. Well, it sounds like we don't get many leads...
[Smiling innocently in Yusuke's direction]
So where should I put it, eh? I wasn't gonna leave it out here in the living room, that was just bad timing on your part.
[8D Yes, Yuusk, this is on you for daring to visit your boyfriend before he could present the body pillow somewhere more satisfying]
Precisely. I think that means we can strike him off the list. You'd recognise him, given who his twin is.
[ .................................. He sets Chou down, and she immediately baps the body pillow instead. Then he puts his hands directly on Sanji's shoulders. ]
[ Mmrgh. Yusuke leans forwards, bumping his forehead against Sanjiās shoulder. In a weird way, immediately agreeing to burn the pillow might be one of the sweetest things heās done?? Maybe?? In a weird, roundabout way. ]
āUpsetā is a little... [ Heās pulling a thoughtful face but heās also pulling it directly into Sanjiās shirt so it will remain a mystery expression. ]
Thereās probably a funny side to it, itās just.... weird right now? [ He turns his head to glance befween Chou and The Thing On The Sofa, which she seems to be fine with, and Sanji. ] And frustrating neither of us are sure who made it.
[ ....... ]
Besides if you ever got rid of it youād have to burn it anyway. That thing canāt be sat around in a trash heap, itād be too embarrassing.
[It's not everyday you get to burn the body pillow of your boyfriend commissioned by someone else. This has gotta be a first in the history of the human race.
Regardless, Yusuke's despair only gets a huff of amusement and a shoulder pat, Sanji allowing the other to burrow his face into his shoulder.]
Well, it'd be pretty harsh to toss this shit in the garbage where it'd slowly decompose... with your face on it.
[See now that it's on Sanji's mind, he doesn't approve.
[Much as he'd rather Yusuke just lean on him a while longer, Sanji carefully dislodges his boyfriend so he can go fetch the body pillow, wrapping an arm around its middle while Chou watches grumpily. Hey that was hers...]
We'll have to avoid security cameras if we wanna do it close to the apartment. Otherwise just somewhere outta the shitty way?
Oi, you don't even know what we burned. Maybe it was our way of protecting the public.
[Sanji and Baren, upstanding citizens putting their reputations on the line for the common people.
Pay no attention to the amused smirk on Sanji's face, even when his ear is pulled.]
... Hn, guess I don't need to bring anything else. [He gives the pillow a thoughtful look now, silently detailing out the steps to this plan before shrugging]
Normally we'd want something to start the fire and help contain it, but I got both of those covered... this bullshit fire power of mine has been more helpful than I thought it'd be.
[ He tilts his head slightly, and brushes his lips against Sanji's jawline. It's difficult not to smile a little at his half-hearted insistence that all his pyromancy is for noble causes. ]
Nothing to carry the ashes in to dispose of them? No matter how useful your fire abilities are, burning this pillow will leave an unpleasant residue.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fabrefactions) wrote2017-08-26 12:53 pm
8/17
Hey Yusuke.
You're having a good day, aren't you? Visiting Sanji like normal, and you can even let yourself into the apartment since Sanji's given you a key to the place.
There seems to be an occupant on the couch that Chou is batting at thoughtfully, meowing pitifully when it doesn't respond to her.]
1/2
He's about to go over and make a fuss of Chou and hopefully get her to stop mewling sadly at... the sofa? Whatever it is that has her upset and grumpy. But then she stops and... well. makes this face at him. ]
... Is something the matter?
[ Clearly the only thing to do is pick up kitten and snuggle -- and that's exactly what he's going to do, even managing to get Chou in his arms before he finally sees exactly what it was she was trying to hard to get a reaction from. ]
...
2/2
[ Chou, to her credit, only hisses slightly at the yelling. ]
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sees what's going on here]
Aw, damn. Chou showed you first?
[It does not help his case that Sanji doesn't look surprised, or guilty, or upset in any way, just casually taking in Yusuke's shock like this is the most mundane thing in the world.]
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Why do you--where--??
I didn't make this, how--?
[ H A L P.
AT LEAST LOOK A LITTLE REMORSEFUL??? ]
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So some rando just delivered it to me.
-- And no, I didn't commission it from someone else.
[Sanji is not that type of asshole, at least, and gives a gentle shrug of his shoulders while waltzing over to free his cat from Yusuke's grip.]
A stranger literally shoved it at me and wouldn't tell me who or why.
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So... out of nowhere some random person just happened to drop by with the one thing you've been needling me about for months?
[ ... It's not even that he doesn't believe Sanji when he says he had nothing to do with the fact this pillow exists in real life now. He does actually believe that. But... ]
Who? And why this pillow specifically?
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[Which is why Sanji is surprisingly calm; not his fault! Shit, he was so paranoid he almost didn't take the damn thing, but...]
The craftsmanship isn't bad, though. Someone knew what they were doing.
[Sanji maybe do not praise the fuckin body pillow while your boyfriend looks ready to ice the room]
... And for the record, I didn't tell anyone about me always buggin' your ass for a body pillow, so...
[Whatever led to this didn't come from Sanji's end. Hm. A mystery.]
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Whether it's well made or not isn't the point?! [ IT'S KINDA CREEPY SOME RANDOM PERSON HAS MADE A SEXY BODY PILLOW OF HIM THAT NO ONE COMMISSIONED, OK. ] It shouldn't even exist!
... I don't think I've mentioned it much either. Probably offhand at home? [ Chou bats his face again. Hooman, be calm. ]
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[Please stop squishing poor Chou.]
Alright, let's assume that whoever heard of this and decided to... intervene, likely came from your end.
[To be fair, could've been Baren, but it's almost too sneaky. Baren is much like Sanji in that way -- lives for the reactions. So even if it's inaccurate, the chef-in-training is crossing his friend off his list of suspects]
Any of your housemates seem the type to try this shit?
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[ His arms immediately loosen, and Chou wriggles herself into a more comfortable position. Good. She purr. ]
-- Yes. Akira. But to be fair to him, Souji is has commissioned a number of body pillows in the past.
However I'm not sure he knows we're dating, let alone that you keep nagging me about the body pillow.
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[Noooo clue who that is. Sanji's only met the twin, and it's been long enough since he's thought of Yu that the connection doesn't make itself apparent]
Hn. Well, it sounds like we don't get many leads...
[Smiling innocently in Yusuke's direction]
So where should I put it, eh? I wasn't gonna leave it out here in the living room, that was just bad timing on your part.
[8D Yes, Yuusk, this is on you for daring to visit your boyfriend before he could present the body pillow somewhere more satisfying]
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[ .................................. He sets Chou down, and she immediately baps the body pillow instead. Then he puts his hands directly on Sanji's shoulders. ]
Burn it.
[ Please. Do it for him. ]
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[SAID WITH A BIT OF AWE IN HIS VOICE.]
Alright, I'll burn it.
[I mean.
He wasn't actually going to keep it.
Not unless Yusuke makes him one]
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āUpsetā is a little... [ Heās pulling a thoughtful face but heās also pulling it directly into Sanjiās shirt so it will remain a mystery expression. ]
Thereās probably a funny side to it, itās just.... weird right now? [ He turns his head to glance befween Chou and The Thing On The Sofa, which she seems to be fine with, and Sanji. ] And frustrating neither of us are sure who made it.
[ ....... ]
Besides if you ever got rid of it youād have to burn it anyway. That thing canāt be sat around in a trash heap, itād be too embarrassing.
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Regardless, Yusuke's despair only gets a huff of amusement and a shoulder pat, Sanji allowing the other to burrow his face into his shoulder.]
Well, it'd be pretty harsh to toss this shit in the garbage where it'd slowly decompose... with your face on it.
[See now that it's on Sanji's mind, he doesn't approve.
Yes, let's give this body pillow a hero's death.]
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Should I be concerned of how willing and eager you are to torch my likeness?
[ But. Well. He did ask for it. ]
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You know damn well my natural default is to be on fire anyway.
[Sanji kinda doesn't care about the world all that much and probably wouldn't care if it torched. News at 11.]
Oi, c'mon, the sooner we get rid of it, the sooner you can stop having an anxiety attack.
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... Right. Are there any rules against lighting things up in public here that would should be aware of?
[ And if so, how do you manage it, Sanji? ]
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[Much as he'd rather Yusuke just lean on him a while longer, Sanji carefully dislodges his boyfriend so he can go fetch the body pillow, wrapping an arm around its middle while Chou watches grumpily. Hey that was hers...]
We'll have to avoid security cameras if we wanna do it close to the apartment. Otherwise just somewhere outta the shitty way?
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[ He stops to tickle Chou under the chin. Sorry, little one. No one should be cursed with this pillow. ]
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[That is his go-to excuse for everything nefarious... because it's true. In this household we blame Baren for our sins.]
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[ And honestly, genuinely, he does see. It all makes sense. But he does tweak Sanji's ear, gently. ]
That is not an excuse for wanton pyromancy of the intentional kind, but it feels a few months too late to be emphasising this.
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[Sanji and Baren, upstanding citizens putting their reputations on the line for the common people.
Pay no attention to the amused smirk on Sanji's face, even when his ear is pulled.]
... Hn, guess I don't need to bring anything else. [He gives the pillow a thoughtful look now, silently detailing out the steps to this plan before shrugging]
Normally we'd want something to start the fire and help contain it, but I got both of those covered... this bullshit fire power of mine has been more helpful than I thought it'd be.
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[ He tilts his head slightly, and brushes his lips against Sanji's jawline. It's difficult not to smile a little at his half-hearted insistence that all his pyromancy is for noble causes. ]
Nothing to carry the ashes in to dispose of them? No matter how useful your fire abilities are, burning this pillow will leave an unpleasant residue.
YES I AM SLAMMING BACK INTO THIS
IT IS FITTING THAT FOR HALLOWEEN WE REVIVE OLD THREADS. also YES!!!
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