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[fabrefactions]

yusuke kitagawa

"I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I will respond post-haste."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

📱☎

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[fabrefactions]

[ Okay that does make him shift a little to stare at Sanji's back, a little flatly. ]

I'm not entirely certain how that's relevant.

But he is very focused on freedom and justice -- he was deeply angered by the mere idea of something like tying someone up for personal enjoyment. I couldn't imagine him taking away someone's freedom in a very permanent fashion.

[ Rewind that if you want to. ]

[concasse]

[Yusuke you're not even halfway through that sentence before Sanji is just

making a T with his hands calling for a time out]

Hold it--

[He has to put down his knife for this and face Yusuke properly]

You somehow know that Eren hates bondage.

[JUST GONNA SUM UP THE UNHOLINESS THAT WAS BROUGHT UPON HIS DOOR TODAY]

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[ Oh, hello. If he has to know this knowledge, so does Sanji. That's what relationships are about right? Sharing? ]

Yes. Elliot asked him about it, after we watched Fifty Shades of Grey.

[ Enjoy that knowledge as well. ]

[concasse]

Isn't that the shit where some rich billionaire needs to be babysat by a pretty girl because he's an asshole?

[All Sanji knows is that everyone hates Fifty Shades of Grey Earl Tea or whatever.]

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Yes. It was a terrible movie, I don't recommend it.

[ Chou yowls and butts his hand for more attention, so there's a pause as he strokes her ears. ]

But there were some interesting discussions that came from it. Including one that led to us finding out Eren's rather negative opinion on people's freedom being encroached upon.

[concasse]

Hn, well.

Hope that wasn't a kink Elliot needed scratching.

[Sanji will send him a sympathetic gift basket in the mail, anonymous]

... Eren does realize no one's freedom is being fucked over if they agree to the terms and conditions, right...?

[fabrefactions]

I don't think so. He probably felt it was polite to ask?

[ I mean. That would be 100% Elliot's thing. "Hello, yes, I'm not interested in it personally but thought I should ask." ]

... Perhaps? I haven't thought to ask him the specifics of his vendetta against bondage.

[ RIP. ]

[concasse]

Really? Missed opportunity.

[True love is not feeling threatened by the idea of your boyfriend discussing bondage with another person, we guess.

All of his amused jabbing aside, Sanji's expression sombers briefly as he returns to his knife, wiping it clean with a towel]

... But yeah, with an attitude like that, really can't see Eren stabbing anyone -- tch, not that he'd do it if he did like bondage, but...

[fabrefactions]

Is it important to know the bondage vendetta habits of my friend's boyfriend and by extension my friend;s desire or lack of for such things?

[ He will have to adjust his expectations. This is very forward. He doesn't even know Sanji's thoughts on bondage, yet now he will know all about the pros and cons of bondage in Eren's eyes.

It's a good thing trust and true love bla bla bla. ]

...

You're quite hung up on the bondage aspect of this. I meant it in that... Eren is big on freedom, he wouldn't take someone else's away. Besides, it would break Elliot's heart and he wouldn't dare do that.

[ Scary. ]

[concasse]

It's because it's hilarious. All the shit I end up finding out about your friends...

[When in doubt, assume Sanji finds something funny. It accounts for literally 50% of his behavior at all times. As if to cement this truth, Sanji turns a grin over his shoulder, not looking fussed by his own lowkey assholery.]

But yeah, yeah, I see what you're getting at. It's unlikely Eren would do some shit like kill someone.

[...]

Besides, wouldn't he just... y'know. Turn into a giant and step on 'em? Stabbing looks so shitty mundane in comparison.

[Sanji, for the love of god, stop being so chill when discussing death and murder]

[fabrefactions]

My friends are good people, even if our discussions veer on the stranger side of things.

[ Excuse.

He's leaving and he's keeping the cat. ]

... True. He has other ways to commit such an act that would be harder to pin down and explain away. [ ...

... yeah, wait. ]

And you think I have strange conversations with my friends.

[concasse]

No, "strange" is that Eren can turn into a giant, naked meat suit in the first place.

[N A K E D. Sanji will never let that go. If he does, assume he's been kidnapped]

What we got going right now is perfectly acceptable pre-dinner discussion.

[...






Yeah he's full of shit.]

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Out of all the strange things that have happened here-- [ LIKE THE LITERAL, LITERAL 8-BITNESS OF THEIR LIVES RIGHT NOW. ] -- this the hill you've chosen to pitch your tent on.

[ Ok.

Yusuke shifts to peer over the back of the sofa, and Chou yowls in rage. HOW. DARE. HE. ]

... Naked giants stepping on people is pre-dinner discussion for you?

[concasse]

I mean... I've had worse pre-dinner discussions.

[This is a step up in the world, he seems to imply, shrugging all the while.]

And I'm so desensitized to the shit going on outside... so yeah, Eren's naked giant form wins this round.

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I'm not entirely sure what that says about your other pre-dinner conversations.

...

But we agree he wouldn't purposely harm someone, not like this.

[concasse]

Yeah no, Eren's innocent.

Lemme know if I gotta bust him out of jail if shit gets nasty.

[Just

casually admitting he'd break the law for the sake of Yusuke's friend.

As you do.]

[fabrefactions]

I am at least 99.9% sure you'd have to beat Elliot to that privilege, Sanji.

[ AS

YOU DO.

How romantic though. Bless. ]

[concasse]

Heh.

[Grinning at that response, this is honestly why Sanji will offer dubious services to Yusuke and his friends. Gotta use his questionable skill set for someone]

Fair enough. Though if it does get that bad, try not to leave me out of the fun.

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[ Yusuke swings his legs off the sofa - and Chou finally decides enough is enough and she is LEAVING to go and find somewhere else to sprawl out and be queenly instead. A true shame, his heart hurt to see her leave.

But he takes the chance to move off the sofa, sneak up behind Sanji - albeit not in the sneakiest many - and slip his arms around his waist. ]

I doubt I would be able to stop you from getting involved.

[concasse]

Oi, I'd behave if you really wanted.

[He's not that unmanageable! ... Usually.

And yeah no, Yusuke, you're not sneaky. Sanji also doesn't mind hugs from behind, either, and ends up leaning back against his boyfriend while he continues cleaning his knife, more a calming, repetitive gesture than for any real need.]

...

So.

What's your thoughts on bondage?

[G O D.]

[fabrefactions]

I would hardly want Eren to be imprisoned for crimes he did not commit. So, I would be unlikely to feel the urge to stop you.

[ ...

...

...

oh Sanji.

You fool.

He can't see the way Yusuke's eyes almost glint from here. ]

Did you know some people consider it an art form? [ You can't even run. ] I did some research after the conversation the house had the other month, and there are photography books and papers on the whole topic. It was very interesting, much like life drawing it's oddly humbling to see how the human body continues to inspire in so many different ways--

[concasse]

[Ah...



A mistake was made]

Yusuke-- [And his boyfriend is off and running, the interjection quickly lost as Yusuke bestows onto Sanji more information than he expected to know about the history and artistic applications of bondage. Sanji's patient, though, letting this continue for a couple of minutes before Yusuke thankfully has to take a breath, and then--]

Renard.

[Reaching behind him to ruffle the other's hair]

I meant sex.

[Ya goddamn nerd.]

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[ Look, we know what Yusuke is focused on in life. Most of the time. ]

Oh.

[ ... Well now he has to think about it? ]

I suppose I don't really have any thoughts on it. Other than that those movies don't seem to be a good introduction to it.

[ At least he's honest? ]

[concasse]

'Course they're not, I can't think of a movie that's a good introduction to anything.

[Which, y'know, a fair statement.]

I'm familiar enough with rope, just never used it for... those purposes.

[fabrefactions]

... Other than perhaps good script writing> Or how not to script a movie, depending on the movie in question.

[ Hm. ]

So, I am assuming you're not going to be angrily lecturing me on freedom and the importance of, then.